Why Do Children with Autism Keep Tapping, Screaming, or Hitting Themselves?

Many parents of autistic children feel worried when their child repeatedly taps on the table, screams, pinches, scratches, hits themselves, or keeps doing the same action again and again.

The first reaction of most parents is to stop the behaviour immediately.

They may say:

“Don’t do this.”
“No, stop.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Hands down.”
“Stop tapping.”

But in many cases, the behaviour does not reduce. Sometimes it increases.

This does not mean the child is doing it deliberately to trouble the parent. It often means that the child is trying to communicate something, seek a sensory feeling, avoid an activity, get attention, or manage an internal discomfort that they cannot explain clearly.

To handle such behaviours properly, parents first need to understand one important point:

There is no single fixed answer for every child.

Every autistic child is different. The reason behind one child’s tapping may be different from another child’s tapping. That is why the response also has to be planned according to the child’s need, behaviour pattern, sensory profile, and understanding level.

1. Repeated Tapping May Be Attention-Seeking

Sometimes, a child starts tapping because they have learned that this behaviour gets a reaction.

For example, if the child taps the table and the parent immediately says, “No, don’t do this,” the child still receives attention.

Attention is not always positive. Even scolding, stopping, repeated instructions, or angry facial expressions can become attention for the child.

For some children, the thought may become:

“When I tap, mummy looks at me.”
“When I scream, everyone comes near me.”
“When I refuse, the activity stops.”
“When I do this, I get a reaction.”

This is why repeatedly saying “no” may not always help. In some cases, it may accidentally increase the behaviour.

2. Behaviour Can Increase When the Child Wants to Avoid an Activity

Some children start tapping, laughing, crying, or refusing when they do not want to continue an activity.

For example, the child may be asked to complete a worksheet, do a therapy task, sit for learning, or follow an instruction. If the child does not want to do it, they may start tapping the table.

If the adult stops the activity and starts focusing only on the tapping, the child may learn:

“Tapping helps me escape this task.”

This is why parents need to observe what happens before and after the behaviour.

Ask yourself:

What was the child doing before the tapping started?
Was the child asked to do something difficult?
Did the activity stop after the tapping?
Did the parent give repeated attention?
Did the child get what they wanted?

This simple observation helps parents understand whether the behaviour is attention-seeking, escape-related, sensory-related, or linked to fixation.

3. Some Children Develop Strong Fixations

Some autistic children develop strong fixations for specific objects, activities, colours, places, or routines.

Today the child may want one notebook. Tomorrow the child may want to walk near a particular gate. Another day the child may insist on one specific activity again and again.

When the child does not get that preferred thing, they may scream, tap, cry, or show repetitive behaviours.

In such cases, the preferred activity can sometimes be used as a reinforcement.

For example:

“First complete this activity, then you can do this activity.”

This means the child does not get the preferred activity all the time. Instead, it is used in a planned way after completing another task.

However, the timing should be controlled. If a child gets the preferred activity for too long, it may become harder to remove later. Parents and therapists may need to slowly reduce the dependency and introduce other activities step by step.

4. Distraction Should Be Meaningful, Not Random

Many parents try to distract the child, but the distraction does not work.

Why?

Because the new activity is not interesting enough for the child.

If the child is strongly interested in one object and the adult offers something the child does not like, the child will not shift attention.

A better approach is to use an alternative that is also interesting for the child.

Instead of repeatedly calling the child and saying, “Come here, do this,” the adult can sit in front of the child and start doing the alternate activity calmly. The aim is not to force the child’s attention, but to make the child naturally shift attention.

For example, if the child is tapping, the parent can gently place a hand over the child’s hand without scolding, start a rhyme, and slowly transition the child into the next activity.

The key is to avoid giving too much attention to the unwanted behaviour itself.

5. Planned Ignoring Can Help, But Not in Unsafe Behaviours

Planned ignoring may be used when the behaviour is clearly attention-seeking and not dangerous.

For example, if a child is making a mild sound only to get attention, and the child is safe, the adult may choose not to react immediately.

But planned ignoring should never be used blindly.

If the child is head banging, hitting themselves strongly, scratching, pinching, or doing anything that can cause injury, safety comes first. In such cases, the behaviour cannot simply be ignored.

Parents need professional guidance to decide:

When to ignore
When to redirect
When to physically protect
When to use sensory alternatives
When medical or therapy input is needed

This is where qualified behaviour therapists, occupational therapists, psychologists, and other professionals play an important role.

6. Tapping Can Also Be Sensory-Seeking

Not all tapping is attention-seeking.

Some children tap because they enjoy the sound. This may be auditory seeking.

Some children hit or tap with force because they are seeking pressure in their muscles and joints. This may be proprioceptive seeking.

Proprioception is the body’s sense of pressure, movement, and position. Activities like pushing, pulling, jumping, carrying, or pressing can give the child deep body input.

For children who seek this kind of input, an occupational therapist may suggest activities such as:

Heavy work activities
Pushing and pulling objects
Wall pushes
Weighted activities under guidance
Clay, therapy putty, or textured play
Structured sensory diet
Safe movement-based activities

These activities should not be randomly copied from the internet. The duration, intensity, and type of activity should be planned according to the child’s sensory profile.

7. Pinching or Scratching May Need Safe Alternatives

If a child repeatedly pinches, scratches, or presses their skin, they may be looking for a certain sensation.

Instead of only stopping the behaviour, therapists may introduce safer alternatives.

For example:

Clay
Therapy putty
Slime
Textured toys
Squeezing activities
Finger-strength activities
Hand-based sensory play

The goal is to give the child a safer and more meaningful way to meet the sensory need.

For example, instead of scratching their own skin, the child may be guided to press, roll, or squeeze clay as part of an activity.

8. Some Children May Be Less Sensitive to Pain

Some autistic children may not react to pain in the same way as other children.

Parents may notice swelling, redness, or injury, but the child may not cry or show discomfort. This can be very worrying.

In such cases, safety becomes very important.

Depending on the child’s behaviour and professional advice, safety equipment may sometimes be needed, such as:

Soft head protection
Elbow guards
Knee guards
Safe play environment
Close supervision
Removal of sharp or hard objects nearby

This does not mean the child should be scared or punished. It means the environment should be made safer while the underlying cause is being addressed.

Children should never be hit back to “teach them pain.” This is not a solution. If the child is hitting, pinching, or hurting others, the response should be planned professionally and safely.

9. Mother and Father Should Respond Consistently

Many parents say:

“He does this only with me.”
“With father, he listens.”
“With mother, he keeps tapping.”
“With grandparents, he behaves differently.”

This usually happens because different adults respond differently.

One parent may laugh.
One parent may scold.
One parent may give the object.
One parent may ignore.
One parent may stop the activity.

The child then learns which behaviour works with which person.

That is why both parents need to be educated and trained together. The child should receive a similar response from both parents.

If one parent follows the strategy and the other parent gives attention to the behaviour, progress becomes slower.

Consistency is very important.

10. Professionals Need to Think Creatively, But Scientifically

Every child’s behaviour needs proper assessment.

A strategy that works for one child may not work for another. That is why qualified professionals should not use a copy-paste method.

A good therapy plan should consider:

The child’s age
Understanding level
Communication ability
Sensory profile
Behaviour triggers
Family routine
Parent response
Safety risk
Learning pace
Medical or developmental concerns

Sometimes behaviour therapy principles and occupational therapy techniques may be used together. For example, a sensory-based tool may be used to reduce a behaviour, but only after proper professional input.

Creative thinking is important, but it should remain within a scientific and ethical framework.

What Parents Should Remember

Repeated tapping, screaming, pinching, or self-hitting is not always “bad behaviour.”

It may be a signal.

The child may be saying:

“I want attention.”
“I don’t want this activity.”
“I want that object.”
“I need sensory input.”
“I am overwhelmed.”
“I do not know how to express myself.”
“I have learned that this behaviour gets a response.”

Instead of reacting emotionally, parents should observe the behaviour calmly.

Try to understand:

What happened before the behaviour?
What did the child do?
What happened after the behaviour?
Did the child get attention, escape, object, or sensory input?

This observation helps professionals and parents create the right intervention plan.

Final Message for Parents

If your child keeps tapping, screaming, hitting, pinching, or repeating the same behaviour, do not panic and do not punish.

First, understand the reason behind the behaviour.

Some behaviours need planned ignoring.
Some need redirection.
Some need sensory alternatives.
Some need reinforcement planning.
Some need safety equipment.
Some need a complete professional assessment.

Most importantly, both parents should follow the same approach.

There is no single fixed solution for every child. The right plan should be designed according to the child’s individual needs, safety, and behaviour pattern.

For children with frequent self-hitting, head banging, strong aggression, injury risk, or severe sensory concerns, parents should consult qualified professionals instead of trying random techniques at home.

Autism support is not about forcing the child to stop everything immediately. It is about understanding the child, teaching safer alternatives, and building better communication step by step.

FAQs

1. Why does my autistic child keep tapping the table?

Your child may be tapping for attention, sensory input, task avoidance, excitement, fixation, or communication difficulty. The reason can vary from child to child, so observation is important.

2. Should I keep saying “no” when my child taps repeatedly?

Repeatedly saying “no” may sometimes give attention to the behaviour and increase it. Instead, parents should understand the reason behind the tapping and use a planned response.

3. Is tapping always a sensory issue?

No. Tapping may be sensory-seeking, but it can also be attention-seeking, escape-related, or linked to a preferred activity. A professional assessment can help identify the cause.

4. Can I ignore my child’s self-hitting behaviour?

Unsafe behaviours such as head banging, strong self-hitting, scratching, or pinching should not be blindly ignored. Safety comes first, and professional guidance is important.

5. What should parents do if the child hits themselves?

Parents should make the environment safe, avoid punishment, observe triggers, and consult qualified professionals. The child may need sensory alternatives, behaviour support, or safety planning.

6. Why does my child behave differently with mother and father?

This often happens when parents respond differently. If one parent gives attention and the other does not, the child may behave differently with each parent. Consistency is important.

7. Can sensory activities reduce tapping or self-hitting?

Sensory activities may help if the behaviour is sensory-seeking. However, the type, duration, and intensity should be planned by an occupational therapist according to the child’s needs.

8. Should parents hit back to teach the child not to hit?

No. Hitting back is not a solution. The child may not understand pain or intention in the same way. The behaviour should be managed safely and professionally.

Call to Action

If your child shows repeated tapping, self-hitting, head banging, pinching, or difficult behaviours, seek professional guidance instead of trying random techniques at home.

For parent guidance and autism intervention support, connect with Autism Alliance.