Quick understanding
Waiting is a skill that develops gradually. For some children with autism, waiting can be particularly challenging because it requires several abilities to work together understan…
Key takeaways
- Waiting is a skill that develops gradually. For some children with autism, waiting can be particularly challenging because it requires several...
- A child may understand what they want but may not yet have the skills to manage the period between asking for something and receiving it. This...
- Wait for a video or preferred activity to begin.
Waiting is a skill that develops gradually. For some children with autism, waiting can be particularly challenging because it requires several abilities to work together understanding what “wait” means, tolerating a delay, regulating emotions, shifting attention and understanding that the desired activity or object will still be available later.
A child may understand what they want but may not yet have the skills to manage the period between asking for something and receiving it. This can lead to crying, repeated asking, grabbing, leaving the area or becoming distressed.
How Waiting Difficulties May Appear
A child with autism may find it difficult to:
- Wait for food or a preferred toy.
- Wait for their turn during play.
- Stand in a queue.
- Wait while a parent is talking to someone.
- Wait for a video or preferred activity to begin.
- Understand vague instructions such as “later” or “in some time.”
- Remain calm when an expected activity is delayed.
These responses should not automatically be viewed as deliberate misbehaviour. The child may genuinely need help understanding the concept of waiting and managing the delay.
What Parents Can Do at Home
Start With Very Short Waiting Periods
Do not begin by expecting the child to wait for several minutes. Start with a duration the child can successfully manage even a few seconds.
For example, if the child asks for a preferred toy, the parent can say, “Wait,” count for a few seconds and then provide the toy.
Once the child begins to understand the routine, waiting time can gradually be increased.
Make Waiting Visible
Abstract concepts such as “soon” and “later” can be difficult for some children. Depending on the child’s developmental level, parents may use:
- Visual timers
- Countdown timers
- First–Then boards
- Picture schedules
- Simple verbal countdowns
For example:
First wait → Then bubbles.
This gives the child clearer information about what is happening.
Reinforce Successful Waiting
When the child waits successfully, acknowledge it immediately.
“You waited. Well done.”
The goal is to help the child understand that waiting is a useful behaviour that leads to a predictable next step.
Practise in Everyday Situations
Waiting should not remain limited to therapy sessions. Parents can practise it during normal routines—before opening a snack, while taking turns with a toy, before entering the lift, while waiting for a video to start or before going outside.
What Can the Therapist Work On?
A therapist can first understand why waiting is difficult for that particular child. The difficulty may involve communication, comprehension, impulsivity, emotional regulation, difficulty understanding time or another developmental factor.
Based on the child’s needs, intervention may include:
- Teaching the meaning of “wait.”
- Building tolerance for gradually longer delays.
- Teaching turn-taking.
- Using visual supports when appropriate.
- Developing functional communication.
- Teaching alternative responses instead of grabbing or screaming.
- Practising waiting across different people, places and activities.
An important goal is generalisation. A child who waits successfully with a therapist should gradually learn to use the same skill with parents, teachers and other people.
Progress Should Be Gradual
Waiting is not taught by repeatedly saying, “You have to wait.” It is taught by breaking the skill into manageable steps and giving the child repeated opportunities to succeed.
For a child who currently struggles to wait even for a few seconds, successfully waiting for 10 or 20 seconds may represent meaningful progress.
The eventual goal is not simply to make the child “sit quietly.” It is to help the child understand delays, communicate appropriately and manage everyday situations with increasing independence.
Professional Note: Every child with autism has a different developmental and behavioural profile. Strategies should be individualised according to the child’s communication, understanding, sensory needs and learning abilities.
Contact Autism Alliance
Autism Alliance – Parents First. Always.
Centralised Appointments: +91 9646 889900
Delhi (EOK):
C-3, East of Kailash, Main Road, Opposite Shri Radha Krishna Mandir, New Delhi – 110065
+91 9646 503200
Faridabad:
LG-06, Crown Plaza Mall, Sector 15A, Faridabad, Haryana – 121007
+91 9810 578289
Ludhiana:
114, Green Field, Kochar Market Road, Near National Lab, Ludhiana, Punjab – 141002
+91 9646 443200
What parents should know
A useful article should make the next step clearer, not increase worry. Notice patterns, write down examples from daily life, and seek guidance when concerns repeat across routines or settings.
Clinical note
This article is educational. A child-specific plan should be based on direct clinical review, developmental history, caregiver input, and functional goals.
Common questions
Frequently asked questions
Use it as structured guidance for understanding concerns and preparing better questions for a qualified professional. It should not replace an individual clinical consultation.
